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t happy。 All I can think about is Thresh letting me go； letting me run because of Rue； who died with that spear in her stomach。 。 。 。
¨You all right？〃 asks Peeta。
I give a nonmittal shrug and cup my elbows in my hands； hugging them close to my body。 I have to bury the real pain because whoˇs going to bet on a tribute who keeps sniveling over the deaths of her opponents。 Rue was one thing。 We were allies。 She was so young。 But no one will understand my sorrow at Threshˇs murder。 The word pulls me up short。 Murder！ Thankfully； I didnˇt say it aloud。 Thatˇs not going to win me any points in the arena。 What I do say is； ¨Itˇs just 。 。 。 if we didnˇt win 。 。 。 I wanted Thresh to。 Because he let me go。 And because of Rue。〃
¨Yeah； I know；〃 says Peeta。 ¨But this means weˇre one step closer to District Twelve。〃 He nudges a plate of foot into my hands。 ¨Eat。 Itˇs still warm。〃
I take a bite of the stew to show I donˇt really care； but itˇs like glue in my mouth and takes a lot of effort to swallow。 ¨It also means Cato will be back hunting us。〃
¨And heˇs got supplies again；〃 says Peeta。
¨Heˇll be wounded； I bet；〃 I say。
¨What makes you say that？〃 Peeta asks。
¨Because Thresh would have never gone down without a fight。 Heˇs so strong； I mean； he was。 And they were in his territory；〃 I say。
¨Good；〃 says Peeta。 ¨The more wounded Cato is the better。 I wonder how Foxface is making out。〃
¨Oh； sheˇs fine；〃 I say peevishly。 Iˇm still angry she thought of hiding in the Cornucopia and I didnˇt。 ¨Probably be easier to catch Cato than her。〃
¨Maybe theyˇll catch each other and we can just go home；〃 says Peeta。 ¨But we better be extra careful about the watches。 I dozed off a few times。〃
¨Me； too；〃 I admit。 ¨But not tonight。〃
We finish our food in silence and then Peeta offers to take the first watch。 I burrow down in the sleeping bag next to him； pulling my hood up over my face to hide it from the cameras。 I just need a few moments of privacy where I can let any emotion cross my face without being seen。 Under the hood； I silently say good…bye to Thresh and thank him for my life。 I promise to remember him and； if I can； do something to help his family and Rueˇs； if I win。 Then I escape into sleep； forted by a full belly and the steady warmth of Peeta beside me。
When Peeta wakes me later； the first thing I register is the smell of goat cheese。 Heˇs holding out half a roll spread with the creamy white stuff and topped with apple slices。 ¨Donˇt be mad；〃 he says。 ¨I had to eat again。 Hereˇs your half。〃
¨Oh； good；〃 I say； immediately taking a huge bite。 The strong fatty cheese tastes just like the kind Prim makes； the apples are sweet and crunchy。 ¨Mm。〃
¨We make a goat cheese and apple tart at the bakery；〃 he says。
¨Bet thatˇs expensive；〃 I say。
¨Too expensive for my family to eat。 Unless itˇs gone very stale。 Of course； practically everything we eat is stale；〃 says Peeta； pulling the sleeping bag up around him。 In less than a minute； heˇs snoring。
Huh。 I always assumed the shopkeepers live a soft life。
And itˇs true； Peeta has always had enough to eat。 But thereˇs something kind of depressing about living your life on stale bread； the hard； dry loaves that no one else wanted。 One thing about us； since I bring our food home on a daily basis； most of it is so fresh you have to make sure it isnˇt going to make a run for it。
Somewhere during my shift； the rain stops not gradually but all at once。 The downpour ends and thereˇs only the residual drippings of water from branches； the rush of the now overflowing stream below us。 A full； beautiful moon emerges； and even without the glasses I can see outside。 I canˇt decide if the moon is real or merely a projection of the Gamemakers。 I know it was full shortly before I left home。 Gale and I watched it rise as we hunted into the late hours。
How long have I been gone？ Iˇm guessing itˇs been about two weeks in the arena； and there was that week of preparation in the Capitol。 Maybe the moon has pleted its cycle。 For some reason； I badly want it to be my moon； the same one I see from the woods around District 12。 That would give me something to cling to in the surreal world of the arena where the authenticity of everything is to be doubted。
Four of us left。
For the first time； I allow myself to truly think about the possibility that I might make it home。 To fame。 To wealth。 To my own house in the Victorˇs Village。 My mother and Prim would live there with me。 No more fear of hunger。 A new kind of freedom。 But then 。 。 。 what？ What would my life be like on a daily basis？ Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food。 Take that away and Iˇm not really sure who I am； what my identity is。 The idea scares me some。 I think of Haymitch； with all his money。 What did his life bee？ He lives alone； no wife or children； most of his waking hours drunk。 I donˇt want to end up like that。
¨But you wonˇt be alone；〃 I whisper to myself。 I have my mother and Prim。 Well； for the time being。 And then 。 。 。 I donˇt want to think about then； when Prim has grown up； my mother passed away。 I know Iˇll never marry； never risk bringing a child into the world。 Because if thereˇs one thing being a victor doesnˇt guarantee； itˇs your childrenˇs safety。 My kidsˇ names would go right into the reaping balls with everyone elseˇs。 And I swear Iˇll never let that happen。
The sun eventually rises； its light slipping through the cracks and illuminating Peetaˇs face。 Who will he transform into if we make it home？ This perplexing； good…natured boy who can spin out lies so convincingly the whole of Panem believes him to be hopelessly in love with me； and Iˇll admit it； there are moments when he makes me believe it myself？ At least； weˇll be friends； I think。 Nothing will change the fact that weˇve saved each otherˇs lives in here。 And beyond that； he will always
be the boy with the bread。 Good friends。 Anything beyond that though 。 。 。 and I feel Galeˇs gray eyes watching me watching Peeta； all the way from District 12。
Disfort causes me to move。 I scoot over and shake Peetaˇs shoulder。 His eyes open sleepily and when the