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my name is red-我的名字叫红-第59章

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that she’d boil them for food。 
At  Kemeraral?k;  I  saw  a  woman  on  horseback  with  her  slaves;  sitting  bolt 
upright  like  a  man。  She  was  proud  as  proud  could  be;  maybe  the  wife  of  a 
pasha  or  his  rich  daughter。  I  sighed。  If  Shekure’s  father  hadn’t  been  so 
absentmindedly  devoted  to  books;  if  her  husband  had  returned  from  the 
145 
 
Safavid war with his plunder; Shekure might’ve lived like this haughty woman。 
More than anyone; she deserved it。 
When I turned onto Black’s street; my heart quickened。 Did I want Shekure 
to  marry  this  man?  I’ve  succeeded  both  in  keeping  Shekure  involved  with 
Hasan  and;  at  the  same  time;  in  keeping  them  apart。  But  what  about  this 
Black?  He  seems  to  have  both  feet  on  the  ground  in  all  respects  except  with 
regard to his love for Shekure。 
“Clothierrrrr!” 
There’s  nothing  I’d  trade  for  the  pleasure  of  delivering  letters  to  lovers 
addled by loneliness or the lack of wife or husband。 Even if they’re certain of 
receiving the worst news; when they’re about to read the letter; a shudder of 
hope overes them。 
By  not  mentioning  anything  about  her  husband’s  return;  by  tying  her 
warning “Don’t get your hopes up” to one condition alone; Shekure had; of 
course; given Black more than just cause to be hopeful。 With great pleasure; I 
watched him read the letter。 He was so happy he was distraught; afraid even。 
When he withdrew to write his response; I; being a sensible clothes peddler; 
spread open my decoy “delivery” satchel and withdrew from it a dark money 
purse; which I attempted to sell to Black’s nosy landlady。 
“This is made of the best Persian velvet;” I said。 
“My son died at war in Persia;” she said。 “Whose letters do you deliver to 
Black?” 
I  could  read  from  her  face  that  she  was  making  plans  to  set  up  her  own 
wiry  daughter;  or  who  knows  whose  daughter;  with  lionhearted  Black。  “No 
one’s;”  I  said。  “A  poor  relative  of  his  who’s  on  his  deathbed  in  the 
Bayrampasha sickhouse and needs money。” 
“Oh my;” she said; unconvinced; “who is the unfortunate man?” 
“How did your son die in the war?” I asked stubbornly。 
We  began  to  glare  at  each  other  with  hostility。  She  was  a  widow  and  all 
alone。  Her  life  must’ve  been  quite  difficult。  If  you  ever  happen  to  bee  a 
clothier…cum…messenger like Esther; you’ll soon learn that only wealth; might 
and  legendary  romances  stir  people’s  curiosity。  Everything  else  is  but  worry; 
separation; jealousy; loneliness; enmity; tears; gossip and never…ending poverty。 
Such things never change; just like the objects that furnish a home: a faded old 
kilim;  a  ladle  and  small  copper  pan  resting  on  an  empty  baking  sheet;  tongs 
and  an  ash  box  resting  beside  the  stove;  two  worn  chests—one  small;  one 
146 
 
large—a turban stand maintained to conceal the widow’s solitary life and an 
old sword to scare thieves off。 
Black  hastily  returned  with  his  money  purse。  “Clothier  woman;”  he  said; 
making himself heard to the meddling landlady rather than myself。 “Take this 
and  bring  it  to  our  suffering  patient。  If  he  has  any  response  for  me;  I’ll  be 
waiting。 You can find me at Master Enishte’s house; where I’ll spend the rest 
of the day。” 
There’s no need for all of these games。 No cause for a young brave…heart like 
Black to hide his amatory maneuvers; the signals he receives; the handkerchiefs 
and letters he sends in pursuit of a maiden。 Or does he truly have his eye on 
his landlady’s daughter? At times; I didn’t trust Black at all and was afraid that 
he was deceiving Shekure terribly。 How is it that; despite spending his entire 
day with Shekure in the same house; he’s incapable of giving her a sign? 
Once I was outside; I opened the purse。 It contained twelve silver coins and 
a letter。 I was so curious about the letter that I nearly ran to Hasan。 Vegetable…
sellers had spread out cabbage; carrots and the rest in front of their shops。 But 
I didn’t even have it in me to touch the plump leeks that were crying out to 
me to fondle them。 
I turned onto the side street; and saw that the blind Tatar was there waiting 
to heckle me again。 “Tuh;” I spat in his direction; that was all。 Why doesn’t this 
biting cold freeze these vagrants to death? 
As  Hasan  silently  read  the  letter;  I  could  barely  maintain  my  patience。 
Finally; unable to restrain myself; I suddenly said “Yes?” and he began reading 
aloud: 
 
My  Dearest  Shekure;  you’ve  requested  that  I  plete  your  father’s  book。  You 
can be certain that I have no other goal。 I visit your house for this reason; not to 
pester you; as you’d earlier indicated。 I’m quite aware that my love for you is my 
own  concern。  Yet;  due  to  this  love;  I’m  unable  properly  to  take  up  my  pen  and 
write what your father—my dear Uncle—has requested for his book。 Whenever I 
sense your presence in the house; I seize up and am of no service to your father。 I’ve 
mulled this over extensively and there can be but one cause: After twelve years; I’ve 
seen your face only once; when you showed yourself at the window。 Now; I quite 
fear losing that vision。 If I could once more see you close…up; I’d have no fear of 
losing you; and I could easily finish your father’s book。 Yesterday; Shevket brought 
me to the abandoned house of the Hanged Jew。 No one will see us there。 Today; at 
147 
 
whatever  time  you  see  fit;  I’ll  go  there  and  wait  for  you。  Yesterday;  Shevket 
mentioned that you dreamt your husband had died。 
 
Hasan read the letter mockingly; in places raising his already high…pitched 
voice  even  higher  like  a  woman’s;  and  in  places;  emulating  the  trembling 
supplication of a lover who’d lost all reason。 He made light of Black’s having 
written his wish “to see you just once” in Persian。 He added; “As soon as Black 
saw  that  Shekure  had  given  him  some  hope;  he  quickly  began  to  negotiate。 
Such ha
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