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and were sitting round the table with our bread end milk， the conversation
turned on the joys and sorrows of the world ， I could not resist the
temptation to inveigh bitterly against ill…humour。 〃We are apt，〃 said
I ， 〃to plain ， but … with very little cause ， that our happy days
are few ， and our evil days many。 If our hearts were always disposed
to receive the benefits Heaven sends us ， we should acquire strength
to support evil when it es。〃 〃But，〃 observed the vicar's wife ， 〃we
cannot always mand our tempers ， so much depends upon the constitution
： when the body suffers， the mind is ill at ease。〃 〃I acknowledge that，
〃 I continued ； 〃but we must consider such a disposition in the light
of a disease， and inquire whether there is no remedy for it。〃 〃I should
be glad to hear one ，〃 said Charlotte： 〃at least， I think very much
depends upon ourselves； I know it is so with me。 When anything annoys
me， and disturbs my temper ， I hasten into the garden ， hum a couple
of country dances ， and it is all right with me directly。〃 〃That is what
I meant ，〃 I replied ； 〃ill…humour resembles indolence： it is natural
to us ； but if once we have courage to exert ourselves ， we find our
work run fresh from our hands ， and we experience in the activity from
which we shrank a real enjoyment。〃 Frederica listened very attentively
： and the young man objected ， that we were not masters of ourselves，
and still less so of our feelings。 〃The question is about a disagreeable
feeling ，〃 I added ， 〃from which every one would willingly escape ，
but none know their own power without trial。 Invalids are glad to consult
physicians， and submit to the most scrupulous regimen， the most nauseous
medicines ， in order to recover their health。〃 I observed that the good
old man inclined his head ， and exerted himself to hear our discourse
； so I raised my voice ， and addressed myself directly to him。 We preach
against a great many crimes ，〃 I observed， 〃but I never remember a sermon
delivered against ill…humour。〃 〃That may do very well for your town clergymen，
〃 said he ： 〃country people are never ill…humoured ； though ， indeed，
it might be useful， occasionally ， to my wife for instance， and the
judge。〃 We all laughed， as did he likewise very cordially， till he fell
into a fit of coughing， which interrupted our conversation for a time。
Herr Schmidt resumed the subject。 〃You call ill humour a crime，〃 he remarked，
〃but I think you use too strong a term。〃 〃Not at all，〃 I replied ， 〃if
that deserves the name which is so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours。
Is it not enough that we want the power to make one another happy ， must
we deprive each other of the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves？
Show me the man who has the courage to hide his ill…humour， who bears
the whole burden himself， without disturbing the peace of those around
him。 No ： ill…humour arises from an inward consciousness of our own want
of merit， from a discontent which ever acpanies that envy which foolish
vanity engenders。 We see people happy ， whom we have not made so ， and
cannot endure the sight。〃 Charlotte looked at me with a smile ； she observed
the emotion with which I spoke： and a tear in the eyes of Frederica stimulated
me to proceed。 〃Woe unto those，〃 I said， 〃who use their power over a
human heart to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally enjoy！
All the favours ， all the attentions ， in the world cannot pensate
for the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has destroyed。〃 My
heart was full as I spoke。 A recollection of many things which had happened
pressed upon my mind， and filled my eyes with tears。 〃We should daily
repeat to ourselves ，〃 I exclaimed ， 〃that we should not interfere with
our friends ， unless to leave them in possession of their own joys ，
and increase their happiness by sharing it with them！ But when their
souls are tormented by a violent passion， or their hearts rent with grief，
is it in your power to afford them the slightest consolation？
〃And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely grave
you have prepared ， when she lies languid and exhausted before you ，
her dim eyes raised to heaven ， and the damp of death upon her pallid
brow， there you stand at her bedside like a condemned criminal ， with
the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could not save her ； and the
agonising thought wrings you， that all your efforts are powerless to
impart even a moment's strength to the departing soul ， or quicken her
with a transitory consolation。〃
At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had been
once present fell with full force upon my heart。 I buried my face in my
handkerchief， and hastened from the room ， and was only recalled to
my recollection by Charlotte's voice， who reminded me that it was time
to return home。 With what tenderness she chid me on the way for the too
eager interest I took in everything ！ She declared it would do me injury，
and that I ought to spare myself。 Yes ， my angel ！ I will do so for
your sake。
JULY 6。 She is still with her dying friend， and is still the same
bright， beautiful creature whose presence softens pain ， and sheds happiness
around whichever way she turns。 She went out yesterday with her little
sisters ： I knew it， and went to meet them； and we walked together。
In about an hour and a half we returned to the town。 We stopped at the
spring I am so fond of， and which is now a thousand times dearer to me
than ever。 Charlotte seated herself upon the low wall ， and we gathered
about her。 I looked around， and recalled the time when my heart was unoccupied
and free。 〃Dear fountain！〃 I said， 〃since that time I have no more e
to enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream： I have passed thee with careless
steps ， and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee。〃 I looked down ， and
observed Charlotte's little sister， Jane ， ing up the steps with
a glass of water。 I turned toward Charlotte ， and I felt her influence
over me。 Jane at the moment approached with the glass。 Her sister ， Ma