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He snapped his fingers； let his left leg swing a bit。
〃In powder form it's colorless； odorless and very dangerous； except no one seems to know exactly what it causes in humans or in the offspring of humans。 They tested for years and either they don't know for sure or they know and aren't saying。 Some things are too awful to publicize。〃
He archied his brows and began to twitch ically； his tongue lolling in a corner of his mouth。 I was astonished to hear people laugh。
〃Once it seeps into the soil； it has a life span of forty years。 This is longer than a lot of people。 After five years you'll notice various kinds of fungi appearing between your regular windows and storm windows as well as in your clothes and food。 After ten years your screens will turn rusty and begin to pit and rot。 Siding will warp。 There will be glass breakage and trauma to pets。 After twenty years you'll probably have to seal yourself in the attic and just wait and see。 I guess there's a lesson in all this。 Get to know your chemicals。〃
I didn't want him to see me there。 It would make him self…conscious； remind him of his former life as a gloomy and fugitive boy。 Let him bloom； if that's what he was doing； in the name of mischance； dread and random disaster。 So I slipped away； passing a man who wore snow boots wrapped in plastic； and headed for the far end of the barracks； where we'd； earlier made camp。
We were next to a black family of Jehovah's Witnesses。 A man and woman with a boy about twelve。 Father and son were handing but tracts to people nearby and seemed to have no trouble finding willing recipients and listeners。
The woman said to Babette； 〃Isn't this something？〃
〃Nothing surprises me anymore；〃 Babette said。
〃Isn't that the truth。〃
〃What would surprise me would be if there were no surprises。〃
〃That sounds about right。〃
〃Or if there were little bitty surprises。 That would be a surprise。 Instead of things like this。〃
〃God Jehovah's got a bigger surprise in store than this；〃 the woman said。
〃God Jehovah？〃
〃That's the one。〃
Steffie and Wilder were asleep in one of the cots。 Denise sat at the other end engrossed in the Physicians' Desk Reference。 Several air mattresses were stacked against the wall。 There was a long line at the emergency telephone； people calling relatives or trying to reach the switchboard at one or another radio call…in show。 The radios here were tuned mainly to just such shows。 Babette sat in a camp chair； going through a canvas bag full of snack thins and other provisions。 I noticed jars and cartons that had been sitting in the refrigerator or cabinet for months。
〃I thought this would be a good time to cut down on fatty things；〃 she said。
〃Why now especially？〃
〃This is a time for discipline； mental toughness。 We're practically at the edge。〃
〃I think it's interesting that you regard a possible disaster for yourself； your family and thousands of other people as an opportunity to cut down on fatty foods。〃
〃You take discipline where you can find it；〃 she said。 〃If I don't eat my yogurt now； I may as well stop buying the stuff forever。 Except I think I'll skip the wheat germ。〃
The brand name was foreign…looking。 I picked up the jar of wheat germ and examined the label closely。
〃It's German；〃 I told her。 〃Eat it。〃
There were people in pajamas and slippers。 A man with a rifle slung over his shoulder。 Kids crawling into sleeping bags。 Babette gestured； wanting me to lean closer。
〃Let's keep the radio turned off；〃 she whispered。 〃So the girls can't hear。 They haven't gotten beyond déjà vu。 I want to keep it that way。〃
〃What if the symptoms are real？〃
〃How could they be real？〃
〃Why couldn't they be real？〃
〃They get them only when they're broadcast；〃 she whispered。
〃Did Steffie hear about déjà vu on the radio？〃
〃She must have。〃
〃How do you know？ Were you with her when it was broadcast？〃
〃I'm not sure。〃
〃Think hard。〃
〃I can't remember。〃
〃Do you remember telling her what déjà vu means？〃
She spooned some yogurt out of the carton； seemed to pause； deep in thought。
〃This happened before；〃 she said finally。
〃What happened before？〃
〃Eating yogurt； sitting here； talking about déjà vu。〃
〃I don't want to hear this。〃
'The yogurt was on my spoon。 I saw it in a flash。 The whole experience。 Natural； whole…milk； low…fat。〃
The yogurt was still on the spoon。 I watched her put the spoon to her mouth； thoughtfully； trying to measure the action against the illusion of a matching original。 From my squatting position I motioned her to lean closer。
〃Heinrich seems to be ing out of his shell；〃 I whispered。
〃Where is he？ I haven't seen him。〃
〃See that knot of people？ He's right in the middle。 He's telling them what he knows about the toxic event。〃
〃What does he know？〃
〃Quite a lot； it turns out。〃 〃Why didn't he tell us？〃 she whispered。 〃He's probably tired of us。 He doesn't think it's worth his while to be funny and charming in front of his family。 That's the way sons are。 We represent the wrong kind of challenge。〃 〃Funny and charming？〃
〃I guess he had it in him all the while。 It was a question of finding the right time to exercise his gifts。〃 She moved closer； our heads almost touching。 〃Don't you think you ought to go over there？〃 she said。 〃Let him see you in the crowd。 Show him that his father is present at his big moment。〃
〃He'll only get upset if he sees me in the crowd。〃 〃Why？〃
〃I'm his father。〃
〃So if you go over there； you'll ruin things by embarrassing him and cramping his style because of the father…son thing。 And if you don't go over； he'll never know you saw him in his big moment and he'll think he has to behave in your presence the way he's always behaved； sort of peevishly and defensive； instead of in this new； delightful and expansive manner。〃 〃It's a double bind。〃 〃What if I went over？〃 she whispered。 〃He'll think I sent you。〃 〃Would that be so awful？〃
〃He thinks I use you to get him to do what I want。〃 〃There may be some truth in that； Jack。 But then what are stepparents for if they c