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He knew that his father was a nonbeliever； but in the similarity of the two phrases he saw a secret sign： his father agreed with the path he had taken。
During approximately his third year in the country； he received a letter from Tomas asking him to come and visit。 Their meeting was a friendly one。 Simon felt relaxed and did not stammer a bit。 He probably did not realize that they did not understand each other very well。 About four months later； he received a telegram saying that Tomas and his wife had been crushed to death under a truck。
At about that time； he learned about a woman who had once been his father's mistress and was living in France。 He found out her address。 Because he desperately needed an imaginary eye to follow his life； he would occasionally write her long letters。
25
Sabina continued to receive letters from her sad village correspondent till the end of her life。 Many of them would remain unread； because she took less and less interest in her native land。
The old man died； and Sabina moved to California。 Farther west； farther away from the country where she had been born。
She had no trouble selling her paintings； and liked America。 But only on the surface。 Everything beneath the surface was alien to her。 Down below； there was no grandpa or uncle。 She was afraid of shutting herself into a grave and sinking into American earth。
And so one day she composed a will in which she requested that her dead body be cremated and its ashes thrown to the winds。 Tereza and Tomas had died under the sign of weight。 She wanted to die under the sign of lightness。 She would be lighter than air。 As Parmenides would put it； the negative would change into the positive。
26
The bus stopped in front of the Bangkok hotel。 No one any longer felt like holding meetings。 People drifted off in groups to sightsee； some set off for temples； others for brothels。 Franz's friend from the Sorbonne suggested they spend the evening together； but he preferred to be alone。
It was nearly dark when he went out into the streets。 He kept thinking about Sabina； feeling her eyes on him。 Whenever he felt her long stare； he began to doubt himself： he had never known quite what Sabina thought。 It made him uncomfortable now as well。 Could she be mocking him？ Did she consider the cult he made of her silly？ Could she be trying to tell him it was time for him to grow up and devote himself fully to the mistress she herself had sent to him？
Picturing the face with big round glasses； he suddenly realized how happy he was with his student…mistress。 All at once； the Cambodia venture struck him as meaningless； laughable。 Why had he come？ Only now did he know。 He had come to find out once and for all that neither parades nor Sabina but rather the girl with the glasses was his real life； his only real life！ He had come to find out that reality was more than a dream； much more than a dream！
Suddenly a figure emerged out of the semi…darkness and said something to him in a language he did not know。 He gave the intruder a look that was startled but sympathetic。 The man bowed and smiled and muttered something with great urgency。 What was he trying to say？ He seemed to be inviting him somewhere。 The man took him by the hand and started leading him away。 Franz decided that someone needed his help。 Maybe there was some sense in his coming all that distance。 Wasn't he being called to help somebody？
Suddenly there were two other men next to the first； and one of them asked him in English for his money。
At that point； the girl with the glasses vanished from his thoughts and Sabina fixed her eyes on him； unreal Sabina with her grand fate； Sabina who had made him feel so small。 Her wrathful eyes bored into him； angry and dissatisfied： Had he been had once again？ Had someone else abused his idiotic goodness？
He tore his arm away from the man； who was now holding on to his sleeve。 He remembered that Sabina had always admired his strength。 He seized the arm one of the other men was lifting against him； and； tightening his grip； tossed him over his shoulder in a perfect judo flip。
Now he was satisfied with himself。 Sabina's eyes were still on him。 She would never see him humiliate himself again！ She would never see him retreat！ Franz was through with being soft and sentimental！
He felt what was almost a cheerful hatred for these men。 They had thought to have a good laugh at him and his naivete！ He stood there with his shoulders slightly hunched and his eyes darting back and forth between the two remaining men。 Suddenly； he felt a heavy blow on his head； and he crumpled immediately。 He vaguely sensed being carried somewhere。 Then he was thrown into emptiness and felt himself falling。 A violent crack； and he lost consciousness。
He woke up in a hospital in Geneva。 Marie…Claude was leaning over his bed。 He wanted to tell her she had no right to be there。 He wanted them to send immediately for the girl with the glasses。 All his thoughts were with her。 He wanted to shout that he couldn't stand having anyone but her at his side。 But he realized with horror that he could not speak。 He looked up at Marie…Claude with infinite hatred and tried to turn away from her。 But he could not move his body。 His head； perhaps？ No； he could not even move his head。 He closed his eyes so as not to see her。
27
In death； Franz at last belonged to his wife。 He belonged to her as he had never belonged to her before。 Marie…Claude took care of everything： she saw to the funeral； sent out the announcements； bought the wreaths； and had a black dress made—a wedding dress； in reality。 Yes； a husband's funeral is a wife's true wedding！ The climax of her life's work！ The reward for her sufferings！
The pastor understood this very well。 His funeral oration was about a true conjugal love that had withstood many tests to remain a haven of peace for the deceased； a haven to which he had returned at the end of his days。 The colleague of Franz's whom Marie…Claude asked to speak at the graveside services also paid homage primarily to the deceased's brave wife。
Somewhere in the back； supported by a friend； stood the girl with the big glasses。 The combination of many pills and suppressed sobs gave her an attac